George’s Marvellous Medicine

Title – George’s Marvellous Medicine

*NO HARM OR OFFENCE INTENDED TO ANY GRANDMOTHERS READING THIS POSTING

**DO NOT TRY MAKING THIS MEDICINE FOR YOUR ELDERS

George’s parents were going out to the market. George was told sternly by his mother not to get up to mischief, but, saying this to a little boy does indeed provoke the boy to get up to mischief. George was also told to give his grandmother her medicine. After George’s parents left, his grandmother, in a wicked tone, asked George not to forget the medicine.

George had no siblings, and he lived far away from any friends or relatives. His grandma, oh, his arrogant grandma, had the traits of a witch. His grandma told him to eat all sorts of disgusting things, which of course, George did not obey. George’s grandma was also a psychopath. She told George some facts which were untrue. For instance, she would claim that chocolate makes you grow taller, and you must eat slugs or caterpillars to become shorter, but smarter.

To teach his annoying, arrogant grandmother a lesson, he decided not to give his grandmother her original medicine, but a concoction so weird that, she would stop being a bother to George’s dull life. George took a saucepan, filled it up with the weirdest everyday ingredients to make a mixture that was never visualized, and never to be recreated again.

The saucepan was filled up with a bottle of “GOLDEN GLOSS HAIR SHAMPOO,” to “keep Grandma’s tummy nice and clean.” A tube of toothpaste, to “make her grotesque brown teeth shine like marble.

And oh! George filled up the saucepan with everything he could find, anything other than Grandma’s medicine! In the saucepan went “VITAMIN ENRICHED FACE CREAM.” “NAIL VARNISH, SUPERFOAM SHAVING SOAP, and HAIR REMOVER” followed. There were all sorts of ingredients, but the most remarkable were CANARY SEED, to make his grandma sing, and SHEEPDIP, which, when given to sheep, it would make all its wool come off! He stirred up his “MARVELLOUS MEDICINE.”

George speedily returned to the kitchen of his house, and sneakily poured in a little of the mixture in the unsuspecting grandmother’s medicine bottle. He gave his grandmother just one spoonful, and she shot up into the air, suspended over her chair. She then comes down and inflates, then grows, longer and longer until she reaches the attic. Then she stops. George gives her one last spoonful of medicine and the grandma shoots up through the ceiling!

George tries this on a hen, and the hen grew and grew. It laid a ginormous egg that could serve more than fifteen people! George’s father, Mr Killy Kranky, then comes back from the farm with Mrs Killy Kranky, George’s mom. George’s dad and himself went and gave most of the animals a dosage of this spectacular medicine.

They try to replicate it, but it is not the same. The grandmother takes a dosage of fifty spoons, drank straight from the bottle, and disappeared.

MORAL: DO NOT EXPERIMENT WITH EVERYDAY OBJECTS OR “INGREDIANTS” LIKE TOYS. IF YOU HAVE A CHILD THAT DOES NOT HEED THIS ADVICE, SHOW THEM THIS POSTING.